Are You Feeling Unclean or Unsafe with All the Virus Warnings?

Today, for the first time since COVID-19 hit the news, I felt . . . suspicious, and . . . unclean.

I had picked up a friend so we could go to the park and connect with the other ladies in our Bible study via internet. I was happily driving home when I remembered that I promised my husband I would stop at the store near my friend’s home and get apples.

I didn’t want to go. I was already two miles farther away from the grocery and would have to backtrack. Was it really worth it? Besides, the lines are probably long, and I am hungry, and I REALLY NEED to use the restroom.

Feeling the Lord’s gentle reminder, “Your husband got up early this morning to go to two stores for you”, I quickly changed lanes and made a left turn and drove to the market.

In the store, I found myself feeling off-kilter. Someone had discarded antiseptic wipes in the bottom of my cart, and I realized I needed to wipe down the handle. I didn’t see any wipes, so I took a breath and went on. The apples looked lovely and delicious. “I’ll eat one on the way home,” I thought, and immediately felt something recoil inside my stomach. “I don’t know who has touched these apples, and now my hands need to be sanitized from the cart. I guess I’ll wait until I get home and wash the fruit and my hands!”

Already this morning, I had seen several people wearing masks, and I noticed the cashiers wore gloves. As I approached the checkout, I was conscious of all the places germs could be. I commended the cashier for her work, acknowledging how crazy it must be to work in the stores at this time. A man was sitting outside the door, vaping, and reached up to ask for a handout. I shook my head and walked on, feeling leery.

In my car, I named that feeling of suspicion–nothing felt safe from the ubiquitous virus germs. Before getting on the freeway, I noticed a homeless man with a sign on my side of the road. “I’ll give him one of my apples . . .but NO! My hands are dirty from the cart and I don’t know what is on the fruit. I don’t want to risk infecting him!” I didn’t have time to ponder or come up with an alternative before the light changed and the traffic was flowing. At home, I couldn’t wait to wash my hands before talking to my husband.

This angst is hitting home now. By nature, I am a positive, trusting person and I keep things clean, but am nowhere close to a germophobe. (I just looked up to to spell it–there is more than one way–and came across this article. Definitely not me, but I think I have a teency taste of how life in the midst of a viral pandemic might look to someone who is one.)

Since I am in Arizona, our count of actual COVID-19 cases has been very low–until this weekend when it doubled from 126 on Saturday to 250+ by Monday. My thinking had been along these lines:

The risk is low here. All of the people I know are healthy, good hand-washers and smart about what they are doing. I don’t have to be concerned. The restrictions are tolerable since the virus moves so quickly, but not really anything about which to be concerned.

Now, as I am assaulted with unbidden thoughts and feelings about the virus, I can see the great anxiety this situation produces for many people. This is really a hard time for all of us, so let’s be kind to those who feel the issues more intensely–for whatever reason. Perhaps they will be the ones who keep the rest of us safer because they are passionate and see the need for greater care than some of us might.

Meanwhile, I plan to comply with the CDC recommendations (hand washing, sanitizing, social distancing, etc.), continue to pray, and trust the Lord. My days are already numbered, and He knows if I will get sick from COVID-19 or be struck down by any number of other diseases, accidents, or acts of violence. I am safe in His hands, and He is with me (and YOU!) no matter what the circumstances. His goal is to grow our faith and conformity to Christ THROUGH the circumstances–not necessarily keep us from the hard situations. After all, we have Christ in us and we can be filled with the fullness of God! It doesn’t get any better than that!

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

Have you felt anxious or fearful about the CoronaVirus? How are you handling that?

Are there helpful words people have given you which aid in allaying your fears? Please share with us, so we can have tools for ourselves and our loved ones.