The Forgiveness Process Step 6: Healing and Transformation

Forgiveness is the giving, and so the receiving, of life.
George MacDonald

When I realized that I could think of the person who hurt me without rancor, I knew that I had moved into greater wholeness and healing.

I sensed a new level of freedom to feel my mind and heart cleansed of the bitterness and malice that invaded and sabotaged my life! Certainly, this accomplishment is worth celebrating!

In exploring this forgiveness process, I have touched on these steps:

These steps may need to be repeated when the thoughts and resulting angst return. Keep surrendering them to the Lord. Ask for Him to cleanse and replace them with His truth, life, and fruit of the Spirit.

Seek God’s grace, healing and transformation as you continue the process. Celebrate the milestones when you notice a difference in your responses. The more the steps become a habit, the sooner you will notice changes in your own attitudes.

Ask the Lord to show you what He wants to work on next.
Surrender the lies and your feelings as they arise in each new area.
Be aware that the process can be very painful, terrifying and triggering. This is a spiritual battle. Just as the period of leaving an abuser is the most dangerous time, the same will be true as you are working to leave the control of the greatest abuser, Satan.
Keep your support person(s) in the loop about what is happening and ask for ongoing, specific prayer. Do as much of this together as possible.
Stay diligent, but be gentle with yourself–both in the present and the younger version of yourself. Be sure to practice good self-care: healthful food, water, adequate rest and exercise. If you are overwhelmed, if is okay to take a break and let the Lord fortify and restore you. This can be exhausting work!
Be aware of the enemy trying to take back territory that you and the Lord have conquered. Have some Scriptures on note cards that you carry with you to speak truth when the lies recur.

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Begin walking in the truth. For example, counter a lie such as, “You are worthless” with

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
Ephesians 2:10 New Living Translation

Ask God to show you a unique positive quality about yourself that you can enjoy on a regular basis. (i.e. Are you an artist? Pull out one of your favorite works and spend time admiring it. Thank God for that talent. Make time for your creativity and share that with someone.)

I believe that God magnifies the effect of whatever we have in our hands that we surrender to Him. As we faithfully take broken shards of our lives to Jesus, we will see that He cleans up some of the other pieces we have not yet addressed.

The Lord’s redemptive work will multiply your little mustard seed of faith as you life your hands and your life to Him. His goal and purpose is your transformation; He is already at work to accomplish this, and your cooperation allows Him to work more quickly.

Therefore, brothers and sisters, in view of the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your true worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.
Romans 12:1-2

There is nothing more freeing than realizing that the old wounds no longer bring you down, and your life has been enriched through the journey. What does this look like for you?